I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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