I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
