yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
