And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
