I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
