I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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