Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
