it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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