he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
