Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
