spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
