i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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