Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
