During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
