he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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