sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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