I hate all girls vehemently.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
