We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
