so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
