The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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