btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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