OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
