There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
why do cheetos always look like penises
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
