okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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