I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
