Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
