John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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