I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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