upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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