she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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