its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
