Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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