I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
