Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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