oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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