Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We are two peas in an std pod
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
