your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
