k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.