Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.