I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How's work?
Spinning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
