his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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