i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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