What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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