so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
