i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
