Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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