All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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