Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
