its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
