im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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