I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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