Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
