My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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