and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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