Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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