He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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