I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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