HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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