We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
