you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
soo... how was my night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
