And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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