rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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