just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
