I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
